Amsterdam · 11 formats · Outcall only
Happy ending massage in Amsterdam: the eleven formats you can name
Eleven ways to book an hour, written down so a request can be made in the right words. Not one of these entries tells you what a session holds, because that is not this site's to tell. Each tells you what the format asks of a room, of a bathroom and of the clock, which is the part anybody can fix in advance.
- massage Happy Ending Massage This is the phrase people search for, so it is the name on the page. What can be booked under it is an hour of full body oil work in the room you are already staying in, at 180 euros for sixty minutes and 270 for ninety. What that hour holds is decided by the therapist who arrives, said out loud by her at the start of the visit in her own words, and held to until she leaves. Nothing about it is agreed in the booking thread, because the thread has no authority over a decision that belongs to somebody who is not in it. That is the whole of the honest answer, and a site that gave you a warmer one would be selling you a promise that nobody had agreed to keep.
- massage Sensual Massage Sensual massage is an ordinary hour taken at half the usual speed, worked with warm oil and steady hands, and it leaves a room in the state it found it. All it wants is a bed, air that is not cold, and the linen she carries up with her, so a compact room in the centre suits it as readily as a wide one. What it answers is rarely a single knotted shoulder. It is the condition of a body that has been switched on too long and cannot work out how to stop, where the thing needed is not pressure but time. Sixty minutes is a real booking and ninety is where the format stops feeling like an introduction to itself.
- massage Erotic Oil Massage Erotic oil massage is the plainest booking on this list and the one that goes wrong least often. It needs a bed, warm air and the towels she brings, and that is the entire list of requirements. No gel, no bathroom, no floor space, nothing to set out and nothing to recover afterwards. For a guest in a room he has never seen before, in a building whose plumbing is a complete unknown, that reliability is worth more than any refinement on the menu. The hour is warm oil, steady hands and the booked time running its length, with her limits stated by her at the start and standing for the rest of it.
- massage Body-to-Body Massage Body to body work replaces some of the hand contact with full contact, using warm oil rather than gel, which is the detail that matters more than it sounds. No gel means no mixing, no covered surface and no shower that has to be scheduled into the booking, so a sixty minute session is sixty minutes of session rather than forty-five minutes and a rinse. It travels into a small room in a quiet building better than any of the other contact formats, and it needs nothing from the bathroom at all. What the session includes is hers to decide and she says so at the start, as on every page here.
- massage Nuru Massage Nuru uses a thick odourless gel rather than oil, warmed before it is used, and the difference from every other format here is almost entirely logistical. The gel has to be prepared, the surface has to be covered properly, and there has to be a shower afterwards you would actually be willing to stand in. Get those three right and it is a straightforward booking. Get them wrong and it is forty minutes of session and twenty minutes of housekeeping. This is why the page spends its length on the room rather than on the sensation, and why ninety minutes suits it considerably better than sixty.
- massage Tantra Massage Tantra is the slow one, and the only format here where an hour is genuinely the wrong booking. It is paced by breathing rather than by the clock, which means the opening twenty minutes are spent on something that looks from outside like nothing much happening, and that stretch is not optional. Ninety minutes is where it begins to make sense and two hours is where guests who return tend to settle. What it treats is not stiffness. It is the state of being wide awake with no prospect of sleep, where the body has stopped responding to the ordinary instruction to stand down.
- massage 4-Hand Massage Four hand massage puts two therapists on one guest at 360 euros an hour between them. What changes is not the technique but the arithmetic of attention: with two people working, there is no part of the body waiting its turn and no moment where you can track what is coming next. That second point is the one guests remember. A single therapist works in a sequence the body learns to anticipate within about ten minutes; two working in step remove the sequence entirely, and the effect is that the thinking part of a guest gives up trying to follow and switches off.
- massage Soapy Massage Soapy work begins at the taps, and that is the single fact worth knowing before booking it. Hot water and dense foam come first, the massage follows, and the bathroom therefore decides whether the format is a good idea in your particular room. There is no polite way around this: a narrow shower cubicle with a plastic door and a temperamental mixer will produce a short awkward opening rather than a pleasant one. A bathroom with room to move in produces something genuinely different from every other booking here. Describe yours honestly in the thread and you will get an honest answer back.
- massage Naked Massage Naked massage is the same oil work as the sensual booking with the cloth removed from both sides of it. What that changes in practice is smaller than the name suggests and larger than a sceptic expects: contact is uninterrupted, nothing has to be worked around, and the small adjustments that clothing forces disappear. What it does not change is anything about what the session includes, which is decided by the therapist, stated by her at the start of the visit in her own words, and held to until she leaves. The heading on this page describes a condition of the room, not an undertaking about the hour.
- massage Couples Massage Two people in the room, and two ways of arranging the evening. One therapist between you works with each of you in turn while the other rests nearby, at 360 euros an hour. A therapist each means two sessions running alongside one another, timed so that both finish within a minute or two, at 720 an hour. Neither is a reduced version of the other; they are different evenings. Both people have to be twenty-one or over and both have to have agreed to the booking beforehand, which is checked at the door rather than assumed from a message, and a booking somebody in the room has not agreed to is not one the house will take.
- extended Overnight The overnight is eight hours at one figure rather than an hourly rate that nobody stopped. It is 1,250 euros for a single guest and 2,500 for a couple sharing a therapist, and where in the night the eight hours sit is yours to decide. The reason it is priced as a block is practical: a night charged by the hour makes a guest watch the clock, and clock-watching is the one thing this booking exists to remove. It gets written most often by people on the last night of a trip, and by people who worked out fairly early that sleep was not going to happen on its own.
Read the list as a set of practical shapes rather than as a set of undertakings. A format settles how long the booking wants to be, whether the taps are involved, how much floor there has to be around the bed, and how much of the room needs putting back afterwards. Those things can all be agreed in writing, and they are the only things that are.
What each shape asks of the room
Oil work asks for very little. A bed, warm air, and the towels she carries in with her. That is the reason erotic oil massage and sensual work are the two requests that go wrong least often in a room nobody has seen in advance, and why a first booking usually lands on one of them.
Gel and foam ask for more than that. Nuru wants a surface that can be covered properly and a shower you would be willing to stand in afterwards. Soapy begins at the taps, so a cramped bathroom settles the question before anyone else gets a vote. Neither is a difficult booking to arrange; both simply prefer ninety minutes to sixty, so that the rinse is not a sprint at the end.
Tantra runs on breath and on patience, which an hour cuts short before it has properly opened. Ninety minutes is where it starts to make sense, and two hours is where most of the people who book it a second time end up.
Two therapists, two guests, or a whole night
Some of the list is arithmetic rather than technique. Two therapists working on one guest is 360 euros an hour between them. Two guests sharing one therapist is also 360, and a therapist each is 720. The eight hour block is 1,250 for a single guest, 2,500 for a couple sharing, and it is one figure rather than an hourly rate nobody stopped. Say in the first line which of those you mean, because it changes the shape of the arrangement as much as the sum.
Asking for a format, and asking for nothing else
Naming a format is a fair thing to do and it speeds everything up. Naming what you imagine a session holds is not, and it gets a courteous nothing back, every time, from everyone. The reasoning is set out at length on the page about what the thread does and does not settle, and the mechanics of a first message sit on the booking page. Between them they cover more or less everything that a new guest writes in to ask.